Backstabbing bitches

Backstabbing. The action or practice of criticizing someone in a treacherous manner while feigning friendship. Its something we all try not to do, (or at least MOST of us try not to do) and something we all hate to be done to us.

Personally, I'm under the belief that this action is worse than any other- because its performed by a friend. Somone you love. Someone you trust. And it begs the question, is anyone in our lives actually trust worthy?

Thats a question i've been asking myself a lot lately. I used to think I could trust alot of people. I used to think I had alot of close friends. Its moments in my life like these that i'm doubting that.

Basically, a while ago- like I've mentioned before- I went on a trip to Canberra and Sydney with my school. My best friend was going, so I was quite excited. We had fun and all, and even stayed up all night talking about boys- it was very 'stereotypical girl' of me, I know, but it was fun.

One night, though, I fell asleep before the other girls. In my dorm was my best friend and a really close friend of mine (heck, I'd even count her as one of my best friends). I woke up half way through the night and caught a bit of their conversation. I was literally sleeping in the same bed as them, lying RIGHT next to them and they were taking about my brother. They were talking about MY twin brother in very harsh and horrible ways. I stayed still, trying to appear asleep, as they continued to talk. They just kept roling with the insults, laughing at every joke they made at his expence.

Anyone who knows me would know that my Brother, though he is blissfully ignorant to this fact, is my hero. He is my favourite person in the world. The onnly person I can ever full count on- and I love him more than I can express. I know its being cheezy, but its just how I feel- and they knew that. They KNEW I'm protective of him, the KNEW that he thought they were friends and they KNEW that I was lying right next to them.

Next, they moved on to talking about me. Now, let me fill you in on something- my Best Friend thinks the guy shes in love with likes me. I'm fairly sure that he doesn't, but she believes this. So, as you can imagine, she was bitching about how I wasn't better than her. Saying that I wasn't worthy of him or some shit. I WAS LYING RIGHT THERE!?

That was enough for me to hear for one night, so I fell back to sleep.

I brought it up the next day, because I wanted to sort it out. I wanted to know what was going through their heads when they openly insulted half of my family when I was lying there. I could litterally feel the knife going further into my back with every word.

When I brought it up, however, they shurgged when I mention that I heard what they said about my Brother- and focused on trying to figure out what they said about me. I didn't care to much about what they had said about me, because I frankly dont care what people think. I'm me, and nothings gonna change that. Was I really upset that even my best friends thought of me like that? yes, but I care more about other things they said.

She didn't even say sorry about my brother. To this day, she hasn't said sorry. And it pisses me off.

Since then I've heard that shes said more about me and my family behind me back. I've heard her telling numerous people about the guy that I like- and I know for a fact that shes even told the guy.

I know I'm not the most perfect friend, but I mean- come on!

I haven't been able to look at her since. I can't be alone with her and I can't have a conversation with her. And I hate it. Shes my best friend and she stabbed me in the back.

And I know all this stuff, on the scale of important things in life is like a 0.5. I know that its not even worth getting upset over- because this story has everything a pathetic teen drama has- boys, bitching and blues- but I dont care. No matter how stupid it is, it still hurts.

So yeah, I think backstabbing is the worst thing someone can do- because its your FRIENDS that do it to you. When the pain comes from someone you love, it hurts just that little bit more.

Sorry for the sob story, just needed to get it out there.
CHOW FOR NOW x